


Just Use the God Damn Blanket

by Wugim



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, The Paternoster Gang (Big Finish Audio)
Genre: Alien Cultural Differences, Awkward Flirting, F/F, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:07:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24447805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wugim/pseuds/Wugim
Summary: Jenny does not understand why her overgrown cold-blooded roommate isn't using her coat in middle of winter.
Relationships: Jenny Flint/Madame Vastra
Comments: 2
Kudos: 45





	Just Use the God Damn Blanket

It wasn’t the first time Jenny had come downstairs in the middle of the night to see Madame Vastra, sprawled on the couch instead of in her bed. It _was_ the first time she had been quite certain that the lizard had retired upstairs first.

A quick look around the room showed Jenny that there was no paperwork strewn about, no random bobbles of evidence, or even anything really that would explain why she was down here.

Vastra was just sleeping. On the couch.

Well, Jenny supposed. It was her house. She could sleep where she liked. Maybe Silurians didn’t sleep on beds.

Even so, Jenny saw no reason Vastra shouldn’t have even brought a blanket with her. It was snowing.

Jenny walked around to the living room and pulled the couch blanket from the back of the couch down onto the sleeping woman, went back around to grab the pitcher of water she had come down for and decided to think about whatever bizarre reason Vastra had decided that would be a good idea in the morning.

In the morning, Jenny woke up just before sunrise and was not surprised to find Vastra still laying down on the couch.

Only this time, the blanket had at some point during the night been flipped over. Not the cushion that Vastra’s head was laying on, Jenny noticed, only the blanket.

Shaking her head, Jenny went to the kitchen to start making breakfast. It wasn’t her place to question. She was only the maid here, after all.

* * *

A few days later, Jenny woke up to the sound of something shattering downstairs. In an instant, she had grabbed an unlit candle stick and was rushing down the stairs to see Vastra, holding a broom and sweeping the remains of their teapot into the pan.

“Ma’am!” Jenny said, candle raised up like she would have the gall to actually go after an intruder. She must have looked rather silly, in fact, threatening her mistress with a candle stick.

For her part, Vastra looked just as embarrassed, or so Jenny thought. She was frozen stiff, like she hadn’t thought Jenny would come down and found out about her mishap until the morning.

Jenny reconsidered after a moment, because Vastra didn’t relax when Jenny did. Maybe she was _actually_ frozen stiff. Jenny looked at her lips. They weren’t blue at all, just green. Maybe Vastra’s lips wouldn’t turn blue. Maybe they’d get shriveled up. Water expands when it’s frozen, doesn’t it? Maybe that’s why her lips were so large.

No, no, Jenny needed to stop focusing on that. She wouldn’t be that frozen this fast. She had to have just been surprised.

“Jenny!” Vastra said back. Yes, definitely surprised. Vastra wasn’t about to die just because she was tried making tea at midnight.

“Are you alright?” Jenny asked.

Vastra nodded. “I apologize for waking you. I’ll get a new pot tomorrow morning.”

“It’s alright,” Jenny said. “We can just boil the water in a normal pot.”

Vastra nodded, but neither of them moved.

Jenny looked at the mess and nodded slightly. “We can do that right now. I’ll get started.”

Vastra nodded again and started sweeping while Jenny stepped over and started boiling a pot of water. It was a very early start to the day, but sharing tea with Vastra was hardly the worst thing in the world.

As she cleaned up after, she wondered what possessed Vastra to get out of bed again. A cup of tea could hardly be worth wandering through the frigid hallways in _January_.

* * *

Jenny put up with a lot from Madame Vastra. She honestly did. However, this…

“Ma’am”—Jenny pinched the bridge of her nose—“Why would you take the _lining_ out of your _coat.”_

“It made it too bulky. It was loud and uncomfortable,” Vastra explained.

“Uncomfortable?” Jenny said. “And just how do you suppose you’re going to feel when you walk out of this house during this weather with only half your coat on?”

“Just the same, I imagine,” she said.

“The same?” Jenny repeated. Did she just not know how coats work? Was that it? “Ma’am, I’m not sure what kind of coats your people had but here if you don’t have the lining you don’t get warm.”

“Get warm? My dear, what _ever_ are you talking about?” Vastra asked. “Coats are meant to protect you from the cold, not keep you warm.”

What, Jenny thought, was she _talking_ about. She could feel the argument rise to her throat, but this was the best job she’d ever had and it simply would not do to get fired because her mistress didn’t understand the concept of clothing.

Jenny forced herself to smile. When she spoke, her voice was really proper. “If that’s what you’d prefer, ma’am.”

That woman was going to be the death of her.

* * *

Jenny decided there had to be something more to it, so when Vastra tried to go out next Jenny grabbed the coat lining and ran over to her before she could put on the windbreaker.

“Put this on!” She said, shoving it at her.

“Jenny, this is hardly- oh! It’s warm!” Vastra said.

“I put it on the radiator. To make it warm for you. You’re cold blooded, yeah?” Jenny asked.

Wait, no. That was probably too personal a question.

Vastra looked at her curiously. “I am.”

“So this can keep you warm, and the windbreaker will keep the heat from escaping. Lining, in the coat, keeping you warm. Even if it’s too loud.” Jenny said.

Vastra continued to stare at her. Jenny shouldn’t have bothered, really. Now she was just upset.

“It’s snowing again,” Jenny said quietly.

Vastra took the lining. Jenny supposed that was enough, and then awkwardly turned around and went back to her duties as Vastra left, face burning.

* * *

Madame Vastra probably thought she was stupid. Of course she was cold blooded, why wouldn’t she be? Of course she wasn’t sleeping in her bed; the blankets didn’t do anything for her. She had probably turned the blanket out because the blanket was warm from the fire. Of course she would need tea during the coldest part of the night.

Jenny was perhaps a bit too firm with the replacement teapot as she lit the stove, but she was embarrassed and there was no one around to see it so she let herself steam.

Steam. Vastra would be home soon, so she ran upstairs to Vastra’s bath and starting filling it, making sure it was nice and hot. As hot as it could be.

Vastra would come home, drink her tea. By the time she was done, the bath would be the right temperature for her. She could put her lining back on the radiator and pretend she didn’t just realize that the lady with scales she was living with might be cold blooded.

Vastra came back just as she came down and the pot started whistling.

“Perfect timing, ma’am,” Jenny said, taking the pot from the stove and then rushing over to help Vastra with her coat.

“Did you make any progress?” Jenny asked politely, guiding Vastra to the kitchen and pouring her a cup.

Vastra began to talk about her day while Jenny started on dinner. When she had finished, she directed her upstairs.

“You’re really set on keeping me warm,” Vastra commented.

“Well,” Jenny said, “Can’t help you with your bed, but I figured it would probably help if you don’t get as cold during the day.”

“I’m sure we could figure out a way to sleep together to keep warm, dear,” Vastra said.

They both froze.

“That’s,” Vastra stammered, “that’s not what I meant.”

Jenny could feel her face heat up, and then felt an irrational surge of frustration. Bloody lizard probably couldn’t do that either.

She stood and put her and around Vastra’s cup, which was still in _her_ hand. She had her fingers linger over Vastra’s as she took the cup to refill it.

“You wish,” she said, taking extra care to keep her voice light. If she were going to flirt, she needed to do it _properly_. “Though at this point, I think I’d do quite a bit to keep you warm.”


End file.
